My testimony

For the first time, after i have long numbed myself and closed the lid to that box of pain, i am being challenged to take a glance back and consolidate the lessons.

For our DG retreat this weekend, i am asked to share my testimony. In general, how i came to Christ. But i've decided, after sitting thru numerous baptism testimonies, to share something different, something more personal.
I decided to share my testimony about Bernard.

When i was going through counselling, i had thought about this before (i read one such testimony in the church bulletin and was worried the counsellor would make me do the same after "graduation"!) Well he didn't, and since then, it's been a long time and i had forgotten much of what i felt and thought.

So, i dug out that testimony that Dr. Terence Tan wrote. And several books that i had read and scribbled in. And my journals. I really thank Pearl (my ex-boss) for encouraging me to write everything down in a journal, for i will forget. How will i ever forget such pain?? i thought then. But she was absolutely right. The vague memory of several years ago in my mind would never have been able to capture the precise and brutally honest words within my scribblings.

The challenge now, for me, is to put together not too long a testimony, about what i went thru, and how God has carried me thru just as He promised, and transformed my life as a result. The difficulty is to not dwell too much on the pain or to glorify myself that i have survived such a tragedy. I have always been conscious not to give the impression of belittling others' problems in comparison to the "magnitude" of mine.

I am still working on it, and i pray that it will be a loving and encouraging testimony that glorifies God.