心酸 xīn suān : definition : 内心悲痛

When i close my eyes i see him...

sometimes, i see someone whose gait resembles his, i smell the perfume he used when i first knew him (it's not a common scent, thank goodness!), and i feel such heartache.

one day, i was going down an escalator near my office, and saw a bunch of little children sitting around, probably on an excursion. one very cute little boy caught my eye. he was sitting there quietly, with those big, innocent and dreamy eyes. my heart skipped a beat (very painful i must say!) because he looked almost exactly like Bernard at that age.

the image of that little boy haunted me the whole day.

Baby Audrey's 2nd birthday

We celebrated baby Audrey's birthday today.
Actually, she's not a baby anymore, running around n exclaiming n basking in the limelight. how time flies.

Bernard loves her so much... he loves to play with her. it always gave me a warm feeling watching him sayang her :)



When i bought her birthday present, i thot, this is from your bernard shushu and grace yiyi... but of cos, you'd think i'm nuts. Right after the accident i must have also gone slightly mental from the trauma, i kept crying n wishing that bernard and i had a baby too so that i could still have a part of him by my side to hold...

Anyway, Audrey is a smart and cheeky little gal now. This is how she's grown over the past year:


June 2006


August 2006


October 2007
She happily went around distributing the cake to everybody, then proudly declared that the bigger portion of the cake is for herself :) Lots of new toys and clothes (including the one that's a wee bit too small... i'm so bad at estimation :P)