Strange dreams

i had a strange dream last nite. perhaps it's a mish-mash of reactions and fears.

two nights ago, i dreamt abt my crush.
last night, i dreamt a very vivid dream abt KW (its been a really long time since i remembered any dreams).

[oh but before that dream abt KW, there was some long drama abt being under seige, evacuating, escaping, sneaking back home to hunt for liang2 shi2 (food supplies) and clothes, etc.]

and anyways dat dream was weird, cos apparently for KW (note: ex-bf), it was still in the getting-to-know-each-other stage. we went out for meals, and he'd be slightly late and i'm waiting. then he told me he purposely made me wait to see my reaction towards tardiness. and i explained to him that reactions can be controlled. like, i'd take the time to reply smses, read stuff, etc and time will pass and i won't notice. but if i chose to stare at the seconds and minutes passing, i'd be irritated and the meal wld be spoilt (totally random i noe).

so then, we went to some secluded village to walk walk. he told me to wait there while he went to check something out. night fell and he's still not back. i circled the village looking for him, and found a ranger. he saw KW's picture, and told me he saw someone that looked like him, pointing towards a very dark cluster of forest. He'll bring me to see if its him. my heart turned cold... i was scared that something had happened to him, and also worried the ranger wld harm me. my gloves was sitting on the bench, and (this is silly) i pointed one finger of the gloves towards the direction. and then... Ah Long called me to say they were coming by to pick me up for brunch.
*phew!*

2009 : To be closer to God

This morning i was juz remembering all those days i'd prayed for His peace and comfort to ease the loneliness in my heart every every day... for months n years.
and He did so.

No matter what happens, God is the only constant, the only forever dependable and loving God, always there... isn't that very assuring?

Every new day is a blessing from God

Happie New Year to everybody :)

Thank you for all your encouraging comments over the past 2+ years...


The sermon during Watchnite service last nite was titled "Let's Go and Press On", from Philippians 3. I think it can also be "Let Go and Press On" (so clever hor)

Veri apt, i felt. 2008 has been a tough year for most. Beyond the past year, i'm sure most of us also have regrets, guilt, sorrow hidden in our hearts (like me :P) Even past glory can cause us to live in the past and feel low about the present.

Many a times i catch myself dwelling in the past... when things look bleak, my mind flashes back to happy times in the past with Bernard... and a mixture of bittersweet happiness n sorrow washes over me. sort of like a.. "at least i experienced such happiness n love so i can draw upon them and then do without them for the rest of my life"

However, clinging on to the past is effectively shutting off what God wants for us in the present and future. What we need to do is to trust in Him, so that we can move on, press on now and into the future.

I was at the new National Geographic store at Vivo today; intrigued by all the photographs on display... and came across a book abt lost boys of Sudan. A phrase on the blurb caught my eye - Every new day is a gift from God.

I have been thinking... oh 2009 does feel slightly scary, what with all those gloom n doom images painted by the news... what is there to look forward to? And then it struck me - no matter how common/cliche this phrase is, how true it is! If we focus on this fact, we will then be able to shift our focus from how life can seem unfair, tiring, etc, and instead give thanks for the blessings in our lives.

Thank God for all the frens and the body of Christ that He has surrounded me with... I hope and pray that i can continue to journey closely with God, and serve Him in little ways.