It sucks to be me! :P

(Ave Q is hilarious...)

anyways.
i'm starting to think i'm never gonna be able to move on.

or mabbe, like kris says, its (again) the end of the year, its Christmas soon... perhaps its also the past 3mths of exhausting 14-hr, meaningless, stressful days at work... that is wearing me down. and so, i've been missing bernard all over again.

tong hua is an all-time fave at karaoke. it is also one of two songs i still cant bear to hear (the other being Amazing Grace).
last weekend i was out with some colleagues and getting bored (i can't sing for nuts) so went out to walk walk by myself. the moment i stepped back in, the song started playing.. and i busied myself texting kris n ivan furiously so dat i dun have to look at the screen. i went home n cried my eyes out.
today i watched Ave Q... n the main lead really reminds me of bernard. his eyes... i was just staring at him almost the whole time n seeing bernard (third row offers a really good view! but i was really disturbed :P)

i've been going out with a guy... things r okie, he's amazingly good to me. and he's just patiently waiting till i'm ready. but there will always be a barrier that i can never manage to cross. its like my heart's having some sinus problem. blocked le.
both days above, he saw me.. so distant n cold n quiet.
how do i let a guy into my heart when it is still yearning for another? how wld he feel?

so, all in all, i have been so desperately wanting to escape reality that (besides contemplating how tempting it is to perhaps accidentally die), i signed up for GMAT and started applications for B-school (and not dat i hv the money woh). kinda drastic n irrational huh... but this is a weak moment. i'm tired.. n i wanna leave it all behind.

how? i dunno wat to do.