In Loving Memory...

Since i can't publish the memoriam in the papers, thot i'll design one myself and publish right here instead!

With Hope

Steven Curtis Chapman
1 Thess. 4:13-14 / Heb. 6:9, 10:23

This is not at all how
We thought it was supposed to be
We had so many plans for you
We had so many dreams
And now you've gone away
And left us with the memories of your smile
And nothing we can say
And nothing we can do
Can take away the pain
The pain of losing you, but ...

We can cry with hope
We can say goodbye with hope
'Cause we know our goodbye is not the end, oh no
And we can grieve with hope
'Cause we believe with hope
(There's a place by God's grace)
There's a place where we'll see your face again
We'll see your face again

And never have I known
Anything so hard to understand
And never have I questioned more
The wisdom of God's plan
But through the cloud of tears
I see the Father's smile and say well done
And I imagine you
Where you wanted most to be
Seeing all your dreams come true
'Cause now you're home
And now you're free, and ...

We have this hope as an anchor
'Cause we believe that everything
God promised us is true, so ...

We wait with hope
And we ache with hope
We hold on with hope
We let go with hope

Cry Out To Jesus

Words by Mac Powell / Music by Third Day

To everyone who's lost someone they love
Long before it was their time
You feel like the days you had were not enough
when you said goodbye

And to all of the people with burdens and pains
Keeping you back from your life
You believe that there's nothing and there is no one
Who can make it right

There is hope for the helpless
Rest for the weary
Love for the broken heart
There is grace and forgiveness
Mercy and healing
He'll meet you wherever you are
Cry out to Jesus, Cry out to Jesus

For the marriage that's struggling just to hang on
They lost all of their faith in love
They've done all they can to make it right again
Still it's not enough

For the ones who can't break the addictions and chains
You try to give up but you come back again
Just remember that you're not alone in your shame
And your suffering

When you're lonely
And it feels like the whole world is falling on you
You just reach out, you just cry out to Jesus
Cry to Jesus

To the widow who struggles with being alone
Wiping the tears from her eyes
For the children around the world without a home
Say a prayer tonight

Sound of Colors

Love this song!

I thot the Korean version MV was sad enough... but this one is sadder!

Music is what feelings sound like

Why suddenly so many MVs?

haha actually one of the reasons is cos i couldn't embed them in the old template.

over time, i've stopped talking about myself and how i feel. sometimes i write here, cos people have a choice whether to read a blog or not. if you talk, they have no choice but to listen... heh. but looking back thru the posts, i'm also not very happy with how the blog has evolved. from a place recording bernard and my lives together, it became an account of my journey in a life without him.

maybe cos the 1 yr is coming soon, i've been terribly moody n withdrawn. and i've found that songs are the best expressions of feelings :) it relates without overwhelming the listener, and still retains beauty in the tune.

I Believe - Rio Diamond

The Dance - Garth Brooks

Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared 'neath the stars above
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd have had to miss the dance

Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I a king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd have had to miss the dance

Yes my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain but I'd have had to miss the dance

Money matters (again)

btw, i got a reply regarding the late interest charges.

my lawyer called last friday, and told me that the developer is agreeable to waive half of the late interest charges owed. after the waiver it's still a whopping $1,000!!! i got a big shock man...

i know it shud be quite a sum but wasn't prepared for so much. when u are struggling to cope with suddenly financing a mortgage on ur own, u'll understand that $1k is a big sum...to me. because of this 1k, now i can't afford to put the in memoriam in the obits next monday. sigh

i guess at 10% interest, it's easy to snowball. but the thing i just can't accept is... that it's all so.. unjustified. it's wasted money. it's not money spent on constructive stuff, it's simply... wasted.

still, thank God as it could have been a lot worse... they have already waived the first 3 months interest (sep-dec06) and half of the next 3 months (dec06-mar07).

so scary. i've never owed so much money in my life. hundreds of thousands, all by myself. i never even revolve my credit cards. this is the first time i have to pay interest. yucks.

that's why i must eventually go back to work in a bank. earn back all the money they sucked away from me :P

If I Had Only Known

- Reba McIntyre

If I had only known
It was the last walk in the rain
I'd keep you out for hours in the storm
I would hold your hand
Like a lifeline to my heart
Underneath the thunder we'd be warm
If I had only known
It was our last walk in the rain

If I had only known
I'd never hear your voice again
I'd memorize each thing you ever said
And on those lonely nights
I could think of them once more
Keep your words alive inside my head
If I had only know
I'd never hear your voice again

You were the treasure in my hand
You were the one who always stood beside me
So unaware I foolishly believed
That you would always be there
But then there came a day
And I turned my head and you slipped away

If I had only known
It was my last night by your side
I'd pray a miracle would stop the dawn
And when you'd smile at me
I would look into your eyes
And make sure you knew my love
For you goes on and on
If I had only known
If I had only known
The love I would've shown
If I had only known

Homesick - Mercy Me

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbye
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

New look!

finally decided to revamp this blog. it's still work in progress...

actually i like the original template that was designed by my brother n sister better... just that Imageshack really sux leh... my pictures keep disappearing, even the background too! i had left it there for the longest time hoping it will recover somehow :P

anyway, instead of having to wait for my brother to "repair" for me every so often, i decided to take the easy way out and upgrade blogger to use the standard templates + drag-n-drop functions! :)

To: Mr. Lo W T Bernard &/or Ms. Chiong X Grace

The home loan is finally in place and disbursed... i just received notification that the first installment drawdown will taken place soon, exactly one year after bernard died...

and after all the hoo-ha, the bank didn't even bother to change the loan account title, and the letter was addressed jointly to bernard and me.. oh well.

i called the bank's hotline not too long ago, to re-activate some deposit account that is supposed to be used to service the loan. obviously the account has been inactive for the longest time...

so the officer did a phone verification. Since i was in a bank before, it was familiar to me. But he asked at least 7 questions (!!) instead of the usual 3 questions. At the last question, he asked, "and finally, is your account a single or joint name account, and can i have the account title pls?"

I was stumped. seriously... i dunno leh. did they change it? After much hesitation, i responded, "err... i think it's a joint name,.." and gave both our names. He sounded satisfied with my answer. sheesh. and you wonder how the bank's back-end processes work.

** Pls pray that the developers will be agreeable to waiving the scary amount of late payment interest that i seem to have chalked up... maybe that can buy me a few chairs for the house. heh