Christmas is a promise of something better

i need to constantly remind myself that the glory and beauty of heaven is far beyond what we have on earth, and what my mind can ever imagine or comprehend.

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Christmas Is a Promise 
By Greg Laurie 

“The people who sat in darkness have seen a great light, And upon those who sat in the region and shadow of death Light has dawned.” 
Matthew 4:16 

For those who have lost a loved one, as my family has, Christmas can be really difficult, especially because it is so filled with memories. So many of those memories are triggered. And when you see other people having fun, it can actually bring a lot of sadness to you. It can even bring you to the point where you would just like to skip Christmas altogether. Have you ever wanted to cancel Christmas? I have. 

I am not saying that we should cancel the celebration of the birth of Christ, of course. I am not saying that we should unstring our lights and put away our presents. But let’s cancel the version of Christmas that has no place for God. Let’s cancel the version of Christmas that says, “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas.” Let’s cancel the version of Christmas that consists of endless hype and activities without any thought of Jesus. 

Let’s get back to what Christmas truly is: a celebration of the birth of Jesus. I like Christmas, actually. I think that at its very best, Christmas is a promise. At its best, Christmas is spending time with family and friends, enjoying holiday meals, laughing together, exchanging gifts, and worshiping together. I think all of these are a glimpse of things to come—because Christmas is really a promise of heaven, a promise of something better. 

You might look around and say, “I wish my loved one who is with the Lord could see this.” You are looking at twinkling lights, but don’t you think what they are seeing is better than what you are seeing? You may be experiencing temporary joys, but your loved one is in the presence of God, seeing the Lord in all of His glory. Now that is a Christmas worth celebrating.

The "what if" that never left me

In a cab on the way to office. And the radio is playing one of the songs that always gets to me - 约定 by 光良.

Together with 童话, these are the worst songs for me to listen to :P
So inevitably, I think of Bernard.

And the question that has plagued me for years, that I can never really get rid of, reason away, ignore, is this - What if I never got him interested to learn diving? Will things turn out different, or will I still lose him another way?

I know there's no point, and there's no end to "what-ifs". It's a futile exercise, a guilt trip. But (and there's always a but) if u ever had a loved one die in your presence, doing something you got him to try, only then will you understand how I feel.

Thank you

To all of you who still click on this blog:

First of all, thank you :) I probably don't know some of you, but the comments and prayers you have left with me have been such an encouragement to me throughout these past many years.

We all go through ups and downs, times in our lives when we feel inspired, and other periods when we are just stuck in the dumps. As time passed, I got caught up with the anxieties of life and chasing after things that i want, and I realize I have forgotten many of the important lessons and insights of those years. seeking to control every aspect of my life, feeling upset with God when things don't turn out the way I want them to, focusing so hard inwardly that I seem to have lost sight of the bigger picture.

and so, when one of you wrote a comment here a few weeks ago, i came back and read through the posts i wrote over the years and all the heartfelt comments. thank you for your encouraging and touching words, for journeying along with me and making me feel like these things matter.

truly, humans have short memories. and journaling is like taking verbal snapshots of our moments in life, reflections that help us grow, mature, remember.

This blog is meant to preserve my precious memories of Bernard, and chronicle the journey of recovery. There are still days that I struggle with my emotions, and I guess they never really go away.

and so, one reason I have stopped updating here is that the inane things in my life don't quite justify a spot (so yes I have another blog that is all about my random ramblings :P), and also, i guess sometimes I feel guilty if I seem to dwell too much on the past.

But I am so glad that I kept this blog :)

Some updates - I have been married for two and a half years now, and my husband has his rightful place in my heart. My sweet, bumbling, clumsy and blur little cocker spaniel puppy too :)

Bernard is precious to me, and I know to some of you too. I miss him every day and he will always have that special place in my heart. Please forgive me for not writing here, but believe me when I say - he is no less important to me now than 7 years ago.