A time for everything

1 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

9 What does the worker gain from his toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on men. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

In the midst of a busy day at work, i had a moment of quietness when i pondered about relationships.

I know that i have placed my memory of Bernard on such a high pedestal that it is almost impossible for any other person to compare to him in my heart. and it seems that every guy that comes along, inevitably gets compared and falls short.

But the only person we should want to be like and be measured against is Christ.

Recently (after church camp to be exact), i was very convicted... and really want to re-commit my life to God. even in areas that i used to want to keep out of bounds to God. I have lost focus over the past year, and it has made me feel rather disillusioned, hopeless and disappointed. But God is ever faithfully drawing me back to him. And now, i do want to seek His peace that comes from trusting completely in His plan and His timing, even amidst uncertainty. In fact, uncertainty is what tests our faith.

That includes the area of relationship. Thinking back on all the guys that have expressed interest, and all the guys that i have had crushes on (they were somehow two very distinct groups of people..heh).. i realised i have stopped seeking God in this area, instead praying for God to tell me exactly who and when, and by the way please make what i want happen :P

But as i read some books recently, i realised that God has a perfect time for everything. Time is God's way of making sure things don't happen all at once, but there is a reason for some things to happen now and some later... and instead of focusing on what is NOT happening yet, God means for us to focus on the things that He has for us now. It means being faithful and content with where we are now, like savouring each course of a meal.

Right after the accident, i thought, nothing lasts forever. not people, not things, not places. Jesus is the only one who never changes, who is there for us for all time, and in whom we should place our utmost trust and derive our ultimate satisfaction. (but then i forgot this truth along the way :P) Not meaning it in a bad way, but i guess i was also very very attached to Bernard. that even now, i am finding it hard to let him go.

And so in that moment today, i prayed that God will help me to let Bernard go.

Incidentally, my daily devotion book for today was on Ecclesiastes 3. And the commentary said [excerpt] "Let go of what lies behind and press on to what lies ahead (Philippians 3:13-14). Reach toward the new horizon that God has for you. You will be glad you did."